Story Summary: The war ended, and then it didn’t. Voldemort is gone but somehow Harry, Hermione and Luna ended up as Undesirables 1, 2 & 3. Controlling the future is going to take some controlling of the past, and they say those who control the present control the past, so why not make the past the present? A time-travel fix-it where a trio of tricksters set up shop and revolutionize the wizarding world, for all that it takes a great deal of time to do so.
This is chapter eight of a fanfiction that is part of a series. To start from the beginning of this fic click here. To start from the beginning of the series click here. And to learn more about the series as a whole click here.
Disclaimer: I tried really hard to make this quippy but I couldn’t so the TL;DR is that Harry Potter isn’t mine. Y’all can be sure of that because I am supes not on board with some of JKR’s content these days.
A/N: Thanks for all the positive response on the last chapter! Y’all make my little heart SING <3. So I’m giving you the new chapter a day earlier than I had planned. Apologies that this is going to be a short chapter, but for those of you looking for more content, if you haven’t already read my recently published prequel A Beautiful Friendship about the Draco in the first timeline, please give it a go! And of course there’s always my previously established prequel Celestial Messengers which is about how Hermione and Luna’s relationship developed. Shout out to my partner Transreal_Clouden and cyborg-goddess for betaing and being generally great, especially when I bug them at all hours about plot threads.
Chapter Eight: The Press
HOGSMEADE EVACUATED: DEMENTORS DESTROYED?
(As published on the front page of The Daily Prophet on Thursday, September 30th, 1993)
The village of Hogsmeade was fully evacuated, the population of the town taking refuge in Hogwarts castle after the population of dementors sent to guard Hogwarts against mass murderer Sirius Black, in a shocking move, began taking steps to attack innocent villagers. Professors and students worked to keep the dementors at bay and evacuate the villagers safely, and managed to get all behind the safety and shelter of Hogwarts wards with all haste.
The source of the dementors’ anger seems to have been the complete destruction, that is to say the unprecedented death, of one of their comrades, via a means that none have ever seen before and we are unsure if we will ever see again. The dementors that remained were corralled by the patroni of not only the professors at the school, but also three third year students, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, and the boy-who-lived himself, Harry Potter. That three third year students were able to help in such a manner is astonishing, but the villagers of Hogsmeade have their souls to thank them for, and so I do not think that any of us will be judging the three for being overeager in their studies in wanting to learn the charm.
Who caused the destruction of the first dementor remains to be seen, as well as who caused the further deaths of the subsequent dementors. When things were resolved by the professors, the dementors, and the DMLE, it was by declaring a ceasefire and corralling the dementors behind a patrolled patronus barrier. But at midnight, there was a series of inhuman shrieks heard from the castle, and all the dementors went up in a blaze. At press time the official status of all the dementors at Hogwarts is dead, with the status of dementors at Azkaban being alive, for the time being.
IVORY INNOVATIONS: TOEING THE LINE BETWEEN THE MUGGLE AND THE MAGICAL
(As published on page 2 of The Daily Prophet on Thursday, September 30th, 1993)
The Tenth Muse opened in Diagon Alley late this summer, and has slowly become one of the most popular shops in the most popular shopping district of our country. The store sells an eclectic range of products, but the one thing that they all have in common is that they draw influence from the muggle world. That said, the products at the Tenth Muse are not simply muggle items that have been enchanted with wizarding spells. Speaking with one of the senior managers, Mary Cattermole, I was able to verify that all are products of parent company Ivory Innovations, and said products are actually of completely wizarding origin, only taking inspiration from the muggle world, and using ideas spawned from muggle creations and pushing the boundaries with magic where concepts that may only be theoretical in the muggle sense exist. I’ll admit that I was hesitant to use products with such heavy muggle influence, but the truth is that what the creators at Ivory Innovations have done is to truly surpass and expand upon the possibilities by incorporating magic.
For example, the most popular product yet from Ivory Innovations is that of the MagiMobile, a sleek device that resembles a mirror and can fit easily in one’s pocket, and can be used to instantly contact anyone else who owns a MagiMobile, simply by either calling out a specific phrase tied to their device, or pressing a series of numbers as prompted on the screen. These devices resemble the high-end enchanted mirrors possessed by some, but are available at a much lower price, and have the option of being simply a voice connection, rather than both a voice and a visual connection. Furthermore, these calls can be rejected or declined, and the settings on the device can put them on silent, voice, or a slight vibration. The ability of these devices to make calls at a distance is similar to the telephones owned by muggles, but their wholy wizarding origin means that they can be used in places with high concentrations of magic, and their smooth and sleek design, in addition to their portability, makes them far superior. Connections have also been tested to work as far away as Australia and various zones within the United States.
Recently, Ivory Innovations has expanded to create a fashion line, which draws upon traditional wizarding fashion as well as muggle clothing trends, with the intended goal of creating clothing that can be worn in both the wizarding and muggle world, to make it easier for wizards who want to blend in with muggles when they need to traverse throughout. When speaking with Mrs. Cattermole, she also let me know that Ivory Innovations was planning to sponsor a free weekly community meeting for witches and wizards who wanted to learn more about muggle culture, to bridge the gap for those who never got the chance to take muggle studies, or for those who took it in years past and thus need an update for how the muggle world has developed in the intervening years.
There has been pushback from the pureblood wizarding traditionalist bloc about muggle influence coming in to wizarding culture from the efforts of Ivory Innovations, but the company made a firm statement that they were very conscious of upholding wizarding values, and they had no intention of replacing wizarding culture with muggle culture, but merely wanted to showcase how the two were not mutually exclusive, but rather how they could healthily live side by side, and even thrive while nurturing one another.
WIZARD, PREVIOUSLY PRESUMED TO BE DECEASED, BROUGHT IN FOR QUESTIONING IN THE CASE OF SIRIUS BLACK
(As published on the corner of page 3 of The Daily Prophet on Thursday, September 30th, 1993)
Peter Pettigrew was awarded the Order of Merlin, third class, posthumuously after he was murdered by Sirius Black in 1981. But just a few days ago, Pettigrew was found alive and well, hiding in the form of a pet rat at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was none other than Harry Potter himself who found Pettigrew, quite by accident while practicing a spell to detect animagi based on advanced interest from a transfiguration lesson given by his head of house and reportedly favorite professor, Minerva McGonagall. Mr. Potter then stunned the sleeping rat, and transferred him to wizards of names that the Prophet was unable to acquire who brought Pettigrew to the DMLE, where Junior Auror Tonks was given charge of Pettigrew, and upon learning of his identity and the relevance to the Sirius Black case took the matter to Senior Auror Shacklebolt, who is responsible for heading the search for Sirius Black. At press time we were unable to get any further comment from anyone except that Director Amelia Bones has since taken on this investigation personally.
JABBERING COILSNAKE SIGHTINGS ON THE RISE
(As published on the front page of The Quibbler on Thursday, September 30th, 1993)
Breaking news indicates that there have been increased sightings of jabbering coilsnakes in Britain. These creatures, normally invisible, have been sighted more and more recently across Britain by curious Magizoologists across the country. Jabbering coilsnakes are similar to normal grass snakes, but for the fact that they can change their color and shape at will, preferring invisibility over anything else, but when visible usually assume the form of a common grass snake. Jabbering coilsnakes are most unusual in that they can speak, not only with humans who converse in parseltongue, but also with those who are fluent in Irish. Jabbering coilsnakes are harmless and friendly creatures, whose favorite conversational topics tend to include local spots for sunbathing and contemporary jazz.
FINALLY, BRAS WORTH WEARING
(As published in the reviews section of Witch Weekly on Friday, October 1st, 1993)
All witches know that what a witch wears is a key factor in her livelihood. A draping robe over a cauldron can mean something as serious as third degree burns and ruining a perfectly good outfit. The modern witch wears functional and fashionable attire, and for a long time now, there haven’t been that many new options. But there’s a new shop on the block in the form of The Tenth Muse, previously known as the combination cafe and shop with all the muggle trinkets turned wizard, now they and their parent company, Ivory Innovations, are showing what magic can do in combination with muggle fashion.
For quite some time now there has been controversy amongst those involved in witch’s fashion, and the one that few like to talk about — the muggle bra. Uncomfortable. Annoying. Constricting. Why bother, when there are charms that offer better, and more comfortable support? Most witches (at least those I know) only wear lingerie for special occasions, and even then barely bother. Bras are not something for casual, everyday use.
But Ivory Innovations is turning that idea on its head by releasing a line of Magibras, that, while I myself was skeptical, find myself embracing at present. The issue with a bra, they argue at Ivory, is that rather than make them necessary, they make them a desirable accessory, and not just one for special occasions. Ivory somehow succeeded (magically you might say) in creating a bra that is comfy, sexy, and cute. You barely notice it’s there until you look in a mirror and realize that everything is fantastic. Their bras are ones I want to wear every day because they really do add that extra spark to my wardrobe. But even if you’re skeptical about everyday bra use, in addition to their line of bras, all of their shirts and dresses come with automatic support charms, and they also sell binding garments for those mages who prefer flatter chests, and would rather not have to deal with breasts at all.
As I said, I myself was skeptical, but Ivory Innovations has me sold.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little insight into what the wizarding press thinks about what’s been going on! And again, if you’re looking for more content and haven’t already read them, please give A Beautiful Friendship and Celestial Messengers some love!
Fic Recommendation: Poison Pen by GenkaiFan on FFN. Harry starts sticking up for himself and shaking up the wizarding world by writing articles anonymously and getting them published under the name Oliver Twist. Lots of drama, intrigue, politicking, and poking holes where logic is lacking. The whole thing is a delight, from what I remember, though it’s been a hot minute since I read the fic all the way through.