Someone to You
Summary: No one recognizes the face of Peter Parker. Sure he’s managed to get into college and find a few study partners, but no one could ever come close to Ned and MJ. His last remaining friend is Karen, who escaped the spell that Dr. Strange cast on the universe. On slow patrol nights he asks her to play him music that he missed out on during the blip. Usually they don’t hurt this much.
I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh
I wanna be somebody to someone, oh
I never had nobody and no road home
I wanna be somebody to someone
Author’s Note: I’ve been obsessed with this song for days and I could not get over how MCU!Peter coded it is. My heart hurt while writing this but like, in a good way. I hope you enjoy!
Thanks so much to ilike_color for betaing this fic!
CW: There is a short panic attack towards the end of the chapter.
Cruel Summer (Parkner’s Version)
Peter loves the rush that came from swinging through the air. When it is just him and his webs going from building to building. Then there was that brief series of moments where he had MJ in his arms with him, where he felt her exhilarated heartbeat against his. When he thought that he would be able to have everything. Except then the world found out he was Spider-Man. Then MIT denied them admission. Then the multiverse nearly collapsed.
Now no one recognizes the face of Peter Parker.
So he lets the world forget Peter Parker for a while, and focuses on Spider-Man. He still has to eat of course, and he needs a place to sleep. So he explained the bare minimum of the situation to Wong and a Dr. Strange who did not remember all the complexities of why it was weird to have the teenager call him Stephen. They helped set him up with enough of an identity so that he could enroll in a local high school and graduate with honors. He gave up on MIT and applied to Queens College. Between getting an on-campus job as a researcher and the student housing his position was much more stable than it could have been, although it did take time away from his superhero gig.
Still, it sucked that he did not truly have any friends. He was friendly with Harry Osborn and Gwen Stacey, but he would not really call them friends . They were study partners, but they were not Ned and MJ. No one would be Ned and MJ. Part of Peter just feels… numb after what happened. Which makes sense, he supposed. So much of the person he was existed not just in himself but also in others. You need two people to complete a secret handshake.
Now the only person who remembered him was Karen. Apparently the spell did not work on AIs, and so she still remembered him. FRIDAY did as well, but Peter had asked her not to mention him to anyone unless it was an absolute emergency. He did not want to confuse anyone while they were all still grieving Tony. That said, as a happy accident, he now had top-level Avengers access codes that no one else knew existed unless they thought to ask — and why would they?
It would be way too easy for Peter to take over the world. Good thing he did not consider it his vibe.
“Hey Karen, let’s listen to some music! It’s been a slow night tonight.” Peter kicked his heels on the edge of the roof he was sitting on.
“Okay Peter. Should we continue to work through popular songs from the time when you were cosplaying as the sands of time?” Karen asked. She had so much mischief in her voice and Peter was eternally grateful again as he laughed. Making sure that she was programmed to match his sarcasm and sense of humor was the best decision he had ever made.
“Sure thing Karen. Give me some songs from 2019.”
The thing was, there was so much that people had missed during the snap. Five years of culture was a lot to catch up on. The memes alone . Peter had suddenly had more sympathy for what it was like for Steve to come out of the ice. Not enough to forgive him shoving a vibranium shield into the heart of his mentor, but a bit more.
The problem with getting caught up on music was that many of the resources for learning about music that had come out in the past five years would only talk about the top 100 hits. That did not actually help Peter learn about what songs he would have liked if he was around in 2019 and listening to the zeitgeist. (Though if he had several patrols with “Sunflower” on repeat that was no one’s business but his own.)
The solution that he and Karen had come up with was for her to analyze his music taste and put it up against all the music that had come out during the missing five years and curate playlists for him to learn new songs. All he had to do was pick a year and she would play one of the pre-selected songs.
“Okay Peter! This song is called ‘Someone to You’ by BANNERS”
Peter closed his eyes as he prepared to listen to the song, trusting that Karen would alert him and stop the music if there was a threat. If there was an immediate threat there was also always the spidey-sense.
The first line hit him like a gut punch.
I don’t wanna die or fade away
I just wanna be someone
I just wanna be someone
Dive and disappear without a trace
I just wanna be someone
Well, doesn’t everyone?
Peter had died, he had faded into dust. And he had come back, but then he had disappeared from the memories of everyone who was left alive to love him or hate him. And who was he now?
And if you feel the great dividing
I wanna be the one you’re guiding
‘Cause I believe that you could lead the way
I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh
I wanna be somebody to someone, oh
I never had nobody and no road home
I wanna be somebody to someone
Peter had no way home. Aunt May was dead. Uncle Ben was dead. Mr. Stark was dead. His parents were long gone. He did not even know what to call home any more. His dorm room? He had put the sanctum as his permanent address on his admissions forms, but that was just a place they were letting him stay temporarily. He had a home with Ned and MJ, but they were gone. He had made the choice to let them go to Cambridge without telling them the truth. He was not anyone to them now, no matter what he wanted.
And if the sun starts setting, the sky goes cold
Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall
I really need somebody to call my own
I wanna be somebody to someone
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you (someone to you)
Who could Peter call his own now? He only had four numbers in his phone: Stephen, Wong, Gwen, and Harry. He would not really consider any of them a friend the way Ned and MJ were his friends. But Ned and MJ were more than just your friends . The voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Aunt May.
I don’t even need to change the world (change, change the world)
I’ll make the moon shine just for your view
I’ll make the starlight circle the room (circle the room)
And if you feel like night is falling
I wanna be the one you’re calling
‘Cause I believe that you could lead the way
Did he even really need to be Spider-Man? And a part of Peter, the part that sounded like a weary Tony Stark, who had simply wished to retire by a lake with his wife and daughter and alpaca, but risked it all to save the boy he considered a son, whispered no kid, you don’t.
Because when it came down to it, Peter would never have chosen Spider-Man over his friends. He would have given up Spider-Man in a heartbeat if it meant keeping Ned and MJ. MJ was his girlfriend, and for all that he found her intimidating that only made him love her more. And Ned was his oldest friend, and he loved him before he even knew what love was.
Peter had been under the impression that he could not live without either of them. Now that he was forced into that situation he realized that it resembled what he assumed hell must be like. He could still talk to them, he knew. He could try to make friends with them again, the way that he had reconnected with Stephen and Wong. But it was one thing to do so with near strangers who he had fought with in battle and had only known for a few months.
He knew Ned and MJ better than he knew the backs of his hands. And looking into their eyes while they looked back with zero recognition made it impossible to breathe.
I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh (somebody)
I wanna be somebody to someone, oh
I never had nobody and no road home (I don’t have)
I wanna be somebody to someone (somebody)
And if the sun starts setting, the sky goes cold
Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall
I really need somebody to call my own
I wanna be somebody to someone
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you
Peter was not anyone anymore. Certainly not to Ned or MJ. People knew him but they did not know him . Not the way that his friends had. And no one ever would again, because those were not relationships he could recreate, as much as he wanted to, as much as he needed to.
The kingdom come, the rise, the fall
The setting sun above it all
I just wanna be somebody to you
“Karen, stop the music.” Peter choked out. His entire chest felt tight, as though he could not breathe, though that could not be right, he had not been injured or in any kind of fight?
“Peter, you’re having a panic attack. Breathe with me Peter, in one two three, out one two three…” gradually Peter got his breathing back under control.
“My apologies Peter, I did not predict that you would have a negative reaction to that song. I will remove it from future playlists. If it will not trigger you, can you explain what is wrong with it so that I can improve my filters?” Karen’s voice was kind, as it always was, and Peter felt it fitting that it was this kindness that ultimately led to tears finally falling.
“No, Karen.” Peter sighed. “I actually like the song. It just… hurts.”
“It hurts? But you like it?”
Peter imagined that if Karen had a body she would be turning her head to the side.
“Yes.” Peter nodded. “I identify with it. I’ll want to listen to it again. But I’ll need a warning, and/or I’ll ask you to play it specifically.”
“Got it. Thank you for explaining, Peter.”
“You’re welcome, Karen.” Peter hesitated for just a moment before continuing. “You can finish playing the song now.”
I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh
I wanna be somebody to someone, oh
I never had nobody and no road home
I wanna be somebody to someone
And if the sun starts setting, the sky goes cold
Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall
I really need somebody to call my own
I wanna be somebody to someone
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you
Maybe… maybe the next time he saw Ned and MJ he would say more than just “hello”.
Author’s note 2: Marking this as complete for now, but if there is enough interest I could be bullied into writing more. I *might* have some ideas percolating in my brain. 👀
Also I hope you all liked the idea of Peter getting hooked on “Sunflower” as much as I did 😂 I was looking up other songs that were popular in 2019 and I was just was so delighted at the idea of him falling in love with a song that in our universe is from a multiversal Spider-Man movie.